It's Okay if You Fall

The other day I was lead climbing at the Quarry. I had gotten about 20 feet up the wall when I realized that the next hold was too far to reach. I would have to make a little leap for it. Something about that idea scared me speechless. I had my belayer take up the slack so I could sit and look at the wall for a moment. My heart was pounding. My psyche was screaming at me not to proceed. I knew that if I were to take this leap and miss that hold, I would end up falling about 10 feet.

I love rock climbing. I've tried to go as often as possible since returning home from my mission. However, lead climbing still terrifies me. When you lead climb, the rope that holds you is not connected to the top of the climb. Instead, you carry the rope underneath you and clip into anchors as you ascend. This means that if you fall, you will most likely fall around 10-15 feet, sometimes more depending on how far apart your clips are. I was used to the sensation of falling before my mission, but now it scares me.

The fear has managed to erase the thrill I used to experience from lead climbing.

I finally said a little prayer to God to help me complete that move. I did a little jump for that hold and stuck it. My adrenaline exploded. That was terrifying. My whole body was shaking. Nerves destroy you when you're trying to lead climb. It requires balance and incredibly smooth movements to keep you from falling. Shaking makes it much more difficult to let go of the wall and clip in your rope. Your own body's defense mechanisms put you in the danger of falling.

I had to calm myself down to keep from falling. One phrase repeated in my mind as I struggled up that wall, "It's okay if you fall. It's okay if you fall. It's okay if you fall."

It's okay if you fall.

I had an epiphany last night as I was taking an evening stroll with my best friend. I have come to some very important cross roads in my life. The decisions that have reached my doorstep terrify me. I realized that I respond to tough real life situations the same way I that I respond to hard climbing moves. When there is a level of uncertainty in my life -- if I am not absolutely certain that my next choice will not lead to disaster or hurt or regret -- then I freeze. I don't want to proceed. My defense mechanism kicks in and I want to run from the choice entirely. Sometimes I'm scared of taking leaps of faith.

I love climbing easy routes because I know, without a doubt, that I can stick the next hold, and that I'm not going to fall. But those don’t help me grow. I don't become a better climber. I don't get stronger either because I'm not pushing myself. It's tempting to take the easy route in life. Taking risks is terrifying. You don’t want to fall. You don't want to fail. You don't want to get hurt. But if we never take risks, if we always avoid those hard decisions, we will not grow. Fear is a tool the adversary uses to keep us from our full potential. When we are blinded by fear in the face of important decision-making we are in danger of falling. The only way we are going to grow is if we push ourselves to new heights, take risks, and take those leaps of faith.

The answer is hope. What helps me get to the top of a difficult climb is the knowledge that I have the capacity to finish it. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of my potential when I have to struggle past a difficult move. But I have the voice of my belayer who always tells me that I can make it, and he pushes me to keep moving. And I love him for it. And even if I make a poor choice, even if I take that risk and end up falling, I know that my belayer will catch me. Because I trust him completely.

Our Savior Jesus Christ knows our potential. He knows that we can become just like Him. He knows we have the potential to succeed gloriously in this life. We can finish this climb. He will catch us if we fall. He instills hope in our souls by teaching us who we are and who we have the potential to become. He asks us to trust Him. We cannot continue ascending without taking leaps of faith. Those leaps of faith increase our trust and refine our character. They help us conquer fear.

2 Timothy 1:7 reads, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

As we rely on our Savior Jesus Christ we will succeed in this life. We are safe as long as we put our life into His hands. He will catch us if we fall. He will encourage us to keep moving. He will help us through the storms and rough patches of life. He will fill our hearts with courage to keep moving forward in the face of uncertainty.

It's okay if we fall. Because Christ will lift us up.